My blogger buds have been participating in this movement going around the worldwide web that I found here, and then added more here. These posts have been a really refreshing way of letting others know "The Things I'm Afraid to Tell You" and to allow us to break down the literal screens that separate us. I have so enjoyed the honest accounts that we have shared in. Yes, I nod as I read them and I feel that little bit of indigestion when a sentiment strikes a chord.
True confessions: I am not a rockstar mom. I try, and I (often) fail.
The thing is (I think you see right through this, no?)...I'm not a supermom. I don't wish to blog one way and live another. It is weird to type, however, particularly as a person hosting a blog about happy homes, that I do not have it all together.
And, dear, lovely friends who ask how I balance it all - kids and work and this blog and life. Every day I put in the effort and most days I end up exhausted, trying to be the best that I can for my children.
This week has brought home for me my own limits.. where I forgot school lunches and end of the year Daisy meetings, dropped off crying children at school and completely lost my voice from yelling at the kiddos, and even on a number of occasions asked my dear hubby to PLEASE take over with the kids. I had had enough. I had reached my limit.
And here's what I learned.
My children have an incomprehensible capacity for forgiveness.
I sat them all down and in my big Mommy voice apologized for my response to their behaviors.
M: "No problem, Mom."
C: "I love you, Mommy!"
L: "Dats okay, Mommee."
While I am still recovering from how poorly I handled situations this week (my voice has returned)...And fighting my own immaturity to judge them for their actions...these three little people are already over the emotions, the impatient tones, and the harsh words. In fact, I'm not sure they even remember them happening at all.
I have a clean slate. Instantly.
My children have this Grace, still. I realize it's not likely they'll always have this Gift in this way. I realize too that for their own survival in this changing world, they need to have the walls and defenses to learn from mistakes and broken promises and bumps along the road.
But what if?
What if we could really look at one another as my children did and just let it go...whatever IT might be between us?
Frustration, anger, disappointment gone with the gentle breeze blowing by us.