It's new and it's old

I checked myself three times on yesterday's post. And then I had to confirm again with my husband.

"I have been blogging for two years, right?" say I.

"That's what you said, but I don't think it's been that long," says he.

"No, no, it's definitely been two years...maybe more." I return.

And then I just HAAAD to go back to the old site for Pars Caeli to check on numbers. April 25, 2012 was the first date I had the guts to click the publish checkmark.

Much like other strong relationships in life, blogging feels like I've done it forever and that I'm just starting - simlutaneously.

It's so natural, and sometimes exhausting, to sit down in front of the screen and create a new image, a new series graphic, adjust photos, and prepare social media posts. As I go through my day, I have the blogger instinct running rampid (ooh, this would be a great blog post, or ooh, must get that great sunlight while I still have it for the project). Even when I try to turn it off, I find that it's still there - a need to share, a need to create.

But.

Fact is, I sat in front of this blank rectangle blog box for a few hours last night (while watching TV, scanning social media, doing other work) with nary a word or image to share. I feel like I'm coming upon a great inflection point for me as a blogger (with Alt Reps and contributions in the works) and I have a ton to get done in six days...

And I kind of feel like a deer in headlights.

I'm kind of shocked by this movement forward because I feel like I just got started on this blogging thing, and I don't know what I'm doing. I have so much I want to learn, I have myriads of projects I want to take on, I never feel like a post is totally done.

I've moved beyond the myth of, "if only I had time..." I'm never going to have time, I've stopped imagining what that would be like.

I have this time - whatever handful of minutes here and there to steal - to listen to myself, to offer my ideas and dreams, to put it out there on the page or the post box, if you will.

I find this whole creative process electrifying.

So forgive me if I'm still a bit shocked by it all.

xoxo, MJ

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